Exactly how many Instagram followers do you need to have before you can start hawking detox tea, teeth whitening stuff and juice?

It’s kinder to mute on twitter than to unfollow.

In the popular Christmas song ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’, the child is actually seeing his mother kissing his DAD who is DRESSED UP as Santa Claus – not having an affair with him. (Yeah, blew my mind too.)

You can now get birthday cards in Ireland with ‘Mam’ on them. AMAZING.

The effort of keeping a style diary in Dublin in the winter seems like the biggest ordeal in the World. ‘Hey guys today I’m wearing my pyjamas, my mam’s dressing gown and some fluffy socks.’ …. ‘Hey guys today I’m wearing the same thing except I had to change one of my socks because I stepped in some wet on the kitchen floor’ and so on.

If you have an argument with your boyfriend and you write ‘Peace Offering’ on a piece of chocolate and bring it up to him and the next day all has been amended but he hasn’t eaten it, it is then perfectly okay to eat the peace offering yourself. Mmm… peace offering.

I officially have no desire to stay out all night anymore. A few cherry blossoms in Izakaya and some decent conversation is all I require. The thought of staying out 2 days in a row à la being 19 actually makes me shudder. I guess this is what happens when you are nearing 25.

Why do I pay for a Netflix subscription when I only binge watch Orange Is The New Black for a few days a month and then forget that I even have Netflix?

I will never grow out of just licking the chocolate off digestive biscuits or just licking the flavour off crisps and I’m okay with that even if you aren’t.

If you are (A) a female (B) living in 2015 and (C) not a feminist, you need to rethink your priorities in life.

– Aisling Abbey


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